Monthly Archives: July 2014

Rocabela Vinho Verde DOC Rose'(1 out of 5)



This is a fun looking bottle, isn’t it? ^ Well, that’s where the fun ends with this one. Since I enjoyed the Exotic Berry Splash so much, I figured I would give this one a shot, since Aldi has done well with their wines as of late. Well, this rose ends that streak. The bottle is the best part, sadly. The other sad part? This is supposed to be 10.5% alcohol content, but the 5.5% Exotic Berry Splash from last week was far superior as far as doing anything, and that did nothing…yet this has more alcohol content. Makes no damn sense to this wino. Nothing, nothing, nothing here. 

The back of Aldi wines have comparison bars, so that you get an idea how light, fruity, dry, semi-sweet, etc the wine is. This one is stuck at semi-dry. That’s bullshit. Imagine drinking something with the consistency of sawdust, and you have this. It is beyond dry. There is no semi anything! It is supposed to taste like raspberry, cranberry, and citrus notes throughout. The only thing I taste is carbonation and dry. It’s so fucking dry you can’t taste any of the fruits noted. I waited and drank one dinky glass over a two hour period, and there is no taste. I’ve had tonic water with more flavor than this wine! It’s ridiculous. 

It tells you that it’s best paired with: seafood, grilled chicken, honey glazed ham, salads, or on its own. Lies, all lies! I paired it with salmon that was seasoned with salt and pepper only, and a spinach salad with sunflower seeds and extra virgin olive oil for dressing. I can taste the food, but I had a hard time choking the salmon down my throat when pairing it with the sawdust rose. I was dehydrated before I got home. This didn’t help matters!! I probably drank a gallon of water with this one..So worry not, Holly, I made up for all the water I didn’t drink by drinking a shit ton after one glass of this. How can they sell this and call it wine? It tastes like nothing. Less than nothing, not even fruit notes in here. Rose’, in my experience, isn’t very sweet, nor very fruity, but there is usually some flavor. No flavor, no savor.

Terribly disappointed doesn’t cover it. The pretzels aren’t making me thirsty, it’s the fucking wine! I would say avoid at any and all costs. This is currently retailing for the ripoff price of $3.99. Hike over to your closest liquor store and get some Barefoot or Sutter Home for the price range, and you’ll have more flavor. I could have drank an entire quart of melted wax lips and had more taste than this swill. (PS- the one star is for the awesome bottle and label. It completely fools you into believing this is good. It’s not!). 


Chaza Exotic Dark Berry Splash (3 out of 5)


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Well, friends, it has been a long summer of sobriety. My one night of wining a week has faded to one night every couple of weeks. Last month, I think I only posted one day. The health has made it clear to me that I have to tow the line and be more careful than I am used to being, in regards to my beloved vino. I will likely be highlighting some lighter wines. I’m not going to the Housewife Wine Zone anytime soon, so I’m trying to stay in the red zone to avoid becoming a housewife chugging white fruity wines. I think I would rather eat a dragonfly than head down that path. Anyway, here’s my newest discovery.

Courtesy of Aldi (it’s getting old, like me) comes this “Wine Cooler Splash”. It’s on the bottle, I joke not. It’s my favorite, twist on cap (or as JM would say, ghetto because it’s a twist on cap). I like that because at least I’m not close to a fucking wine cork taking out my eye(too many close calls). It’s a light, fizzy drink with amiable flavor. The Aldi wine denizens tell me it’s imported from South Africa. If that’s the case, throw me on the Good Ship Johannesburg. A little, fizzy treasure designed for lighter meals, Chaza has flavorings of black cherry, blueberry, and something sweet on the lighter side, I am going to guess vanilla because it’s not strong enough to be hazelnut or nutmeg. I swear I taste some slight apple flavor too, but it could be my palette is whack. This is one of their wines of the month. It retails for $4.99. I think it may be exclusive to Aldi, so not sure if you will get it anywhere else. There isn’t an aftertaste, and this will not mess you up. So if you’re looking for a buzz, forget it, the 5.5% alcohol content pretty much guarantees you’re not getting silly. I just wanted some light alcohol with minimal overload and maximum flavor. This nicely provided both.

It’s no great shakes, meaning that it won’t get the gold medal ribbon at the Las Vegas Wine Festival in the desert, but it would likely get an honorable mention ribbon at the Aldi World Fair. I really do like it, I just like it for a light taste of something and not much on the overbearing side. So if you want a slight, nice tasting, smooth wine fizz, this is a good place to start.