I found the best image possible–so you, my dear wino, can avoid this bottle at all costs, if you see it. Unless you’re shopping at the Land of No Bags, Aldi, you probably are safe from its mocking label. It was on special- you know why? Because it sucks! IT SUCKS! This has led to me beginning a new feature on here: Throw That Wine Bottle Back Into The Ocean! This one is the first. I’m sure there will be more….
This sucker was a gift from my friend after I got bad news the other day. I had been saying it’s been a long, long while since I had a good Bordeaux (NOT an euphemism for anything…this time!), and then this. Well, friends, this did not make the bad news any better. It made it more…bitter. Kind of like this wine. Bordeauxs are typically complex tasting wines and not on the fruiter, light side of the red wine cellar. They’re made with 8 grapes, most reds are 3 or 4 grapes at most. There’s a lot of complex tasting notes with a Bordeaux. They’re known for their intensity and dark flavors that finish long on your palette. That’s why it’s usually advised to serve a Bordeaux with food that isn’t overcooked- for example, stir fry with a soy-based sauce would be a good pairing. Pork tenderloin with a sesame ginger rub, also a good example. It compliments the hearty darkness that’s usually classified as a good Bordeaux. A bad Bordeaux? You’re about to find out.
This wine retailed for $5.99. You could have gotten two bottles of Winking Owl for what was paid for one of these. That’s not a comforting thought. It’s a 2014 offering from this vineyard. Alcohol percentage of 12.5%, not on the higher side for a Bordeaux. That alone should have been an indication. It’s such a dark, ruby red color and after letting it breathe, there is a small, nicely fragrant nose to it. But then you go to drink it. Big time oak, cassis, blackcurrant, and plum. No underlying notes of anything else. There is enough of a strong oak and cassis finish on this wine that it lingers LONG after the first, second, or third glass. It is beyond dry. I mean, if you love the idea of drinking a glass of paint chips, well, here you are. Throw in some varnish and you have an unbeatable combination. I took my time drinking this, hoping that it would kick into something fantastic or at least palpable to the taste buds, but it got worse and worse. I had the worst case of dry mouth that I’d had since drinking that awful Firecracker Wine years back. One glass of wine equals four 12 oz. glasses of water- and I was STILL thirsty. If you imagine being caught in an arid stretch of desert between New Mexico and Arizona, but bottled and sold as wine? This would be what it tastes like. There isn’t enough flavor as there is acidity to the wine, to mean that it could compliment whatever you chose to have with it. I tried it with a cheeseburger- no dice. I tried it with chicken teriyaki stir-fry and it overpowered the sweetness of the teriyaki sauce. So much that it ruined the meal. No, thanks, if this wine came floating up out of the ocean (like the empty Corona bottle in that new Corona commercial that airs during the NFL Sunday Gameday), I would toss that bottle back. I encourage you to look elsewhere for a Bordeaux worthy of your attentions and your dollar. This is not the one.